Saturday, March 7, 2009

Up early..

Fuck. So like...I am awake and hating it. I suppose I should rather start getting used to being up early all the time.
Lets see..what to talk about.
Well. You may or may not know this, but I am going to be moving to L.A. this summer to go to school.
I feel pretty good about it. (Goddamn I am tired)
My biggest issues with this is
A. Being able to afford living out there
B. Being away from my family
B is waaaaay more of a concern than A.
I am so close to my family. I lived in Vegas for a while and hated it. I hated not being able to walk across the street and see what my sister and nephew are up to. I hated not being able to just go to lunch with my mother.
Most people tell me that it is time to move on and grow up.
What is childish about loving and adoring your family?! Who the fuck says shit like that???

I think once I am actually out there and working towards my goals and dreams that I will feel ok. I already have some good friends from Tulsa that will be living within 30 mins from me.
The whole friend thing isn't an issue for me.

Blah...I guess what I am trying to express is this..
moving to a big fuck-off city without my family is going to be a huge culture shock to me.

I come from a huge family.
Including half and step- I am one of 8 children.
Think about that.
That is a fucking litter! hahaha. You know how dogs are pack animals?
I guess you could say that about me. I am a pack animal! haha.
Well, I have no idea where I am going with this. (didn't get any sleep so now I am just rambling)



Avalon said...

Yeah, I had ALWAYS wanted to go to California. All of my life, there or New York. I worked at it my whole life (thus far) and when it came time, I couldn't. All due to my family. It didn't help that I gained a sister when I was 15 (on the very day I turned 15), and that my sister had a baby last year.. they're so little.. I just really want to be around them! So it's good seeing other people follow their dreams and make something out of themselves, and do what they want. I guess I'm just not ready for that, yet.

I can understand exactly where you are coming from. There's nothing childish about it at all! I mean, these are the people you have been around your whole life, that love you unconditionally, and that are always there for you... who would want to leave that behind for uncertainty..? I mean, plenty of people do and are super happy, that's how it goes, but most people don't really want to at first.

That's so good that you won't be there alone.. and like you said, although you will miss them, you will feel better when you're working towards your dreams!

I'm so proud of you, and all that you have accomplished in just the few years that I have known you, and now you're going off to do even bigger and better things!

xoxo. Avalon.

Anonymous said...

kira you are that rare gem as you can feel think and be real